Divorce, Mediation, & Custody
His wife shocked him when she asked for a divorce saying she had never really been attracted to him after 12 years of marriage and two children…
This gentleman in his 40’s did a week long Intensive so that he could process his anger and grief. His primary concern was to be able to co-parent with kindness and continue to hold the mother of his children in high regard. On day one of the Intensive, he thought his goals were too lofty. But by the end of the week, he had achieved a state of acceptance and wellbeing regarding his soon to be ex-wife and raising his children as a single dad.
He knew he wanted a divorce but didn’t know if his wife would survive it. He felt held hostage…
They were both good people, just not good together. She was recovering from an eating disorder and had been coming to Maui Intensives annually for a few years. \He was nervous, yet relieved when she agreed to a couples Intensive. “It was amazing to watch the process of loving kindness and letting go unfold. Sometimes what is kindest is moving on.” This couple with financial means dreaded using the legal system for their divorce and asked Rae and Judy to mediate the entire process. With only a few interactions, all assets were divided and within a few months papers were signed. They married with love and divorced with love.
She had four children and had been married most of her adult life. In her culture, divorce was frowned upon and hadn’t been a consideration…
She didn’t know anything about mental health or therapy, and was so relieved when her attorney referred her to Rae and Judy. Through the fog and confusion of her 17 year marriage she came to a clear understanding that she couldn’t save her husband from his own mental illness. He was resisting treatment and refusing professional help. Furthermore, she was beginning to see the negative impact his illness had on her children. With compassion and perseverance and ongoing support from Maui Intensives this family found their way through divorce, custody, and long term solutions for the welfare of each family member.
She had lived with an idyllic story that everything was wonderful in her family of four…
She had a career she loved, children she adored, and a husband who she thought was lovingly committed. When she saw the email about the affair he was having it was so shocking she didn’t know what to do next. They came for a couples Intensive. Although some couples can work their way back to each other even though there has been an affair, for this husband and wife, the lack of true love, intimacy, connection, honesty and compatibility unveiled the conscious awareness that they didn’t work together. What did work for both of them was sharing custody of their children and having the divorce cause the least impact possible in their children’s lives.